Seven Hills Parent Lecture Series
Dr. Christine Carter Lecture Notes
Happiness researcher Christine Carter, Ph.D. spoke at the opening of the Parent Lecture Series, for the Seven Hills School annual Julian Rettger Lecture to promote emotional well-being, on Tuesday evening, September 27, 2011. Dr. Carter offered a new definition of happiness and some simple tips for fostering happiness in adults and children.
Carter’s definition of happiness is that it includes a large range of positive emotions associated with experiences, events, and people in the past, the present and the future, including such emotions as joy, awe, wonder, inspiration, hope, compassion, curiosity, and love.
“A happy life is not just about positive emotions,” said Carter, “We need coping skills to deal with life's issues, as well.” She reported on scientific discovery on happiness. “Happiness is something we can learn. It is like a language in which you have to learn the grammar to practice it well…
We no longer think of it like a person's weight. There is no set point. When you teach people skills that influence their happiness, they can become happier because their habits have changed.”
Researchers have found that about half of adult happiness is influenced by genes and half by environment. They have also found that we can help kids learn and practice habits that help them be happy.
Research has also shown that happiness is incredibly contagious. Changes in an individual's happiness will have a ripple effect in either a good or bad way. When a person has a friend who is happy who lives 1/2 mile or closer to them, their own happiness level will increase by a factor of 9%. This “contagious” factor is because emotions are viral and will spread through groups over time.
Carter notes that kids can learn habits that increase happiness from their parents and teachers. One of the ways this can be done is by teaching gratefulness. Carter detailed several ways to introduce and reinforce the habit of being grateful. “Gratitude is one of the biggest creators of happiness that we have. It is one of the most social emotions that we have and it only arises when there is a scarcity, something we don’t experience much—so we need to practice being grateful…Gratitude helps people have more energy, increases strength, attention, and sense of self worth. It strengthens our social ties, and helps people feel closer.”
Carter advised parents to ask their kids “3 good things that happened today,” and urged them to count their blessings out loud regularly. “Do it in a routine way. Authentic gratitude arises when you have practiced.”
She also urged parents to model a range of things they are grateful for. “Be really persistent at this. Don't tell them what to be grateful for.” She suggested you show your children how to pay gratitude visits to people—for something non-material they received from that person.
She noted that happiness is a tremendous advantage in life. A great job and success in life is no guarantee of happiness. She cited The How of Happiness, an in-depth study by Sonia Lyubomirsky which concludes that happiness precedes success for most people, in all realms of life. Positive emotions fuel success. Carter cautioned parents to not focus on achievement, and to not focus on negative emotions. “Negative emotions don't do good for your body; positive response stops stress in our body. It changes the way we learn and solve problems.”
Carter summed up the research with this quote from The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor:
"Happiness fuels success, not the other way. When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive."
Carter also offered “refresher” notes on Carol Dweck’s research on how best to praise kids on their success.
Parents and teachers need to encourage a growth rather than a fixed mindset. Children need to know that hard work and practice fuel success, and that labels such as “smart” and “natural athlete,” are pernicious and end up diverting their energy and discouraging them from trying new challenges.
She cited several studies to underline the effectiveness of the growth mindset over the fixed mindset in helping students and adults of all ages to work harder and challenge themselves to learn more. She encouraged parents to identify where they and their child have the most fixed mindset and to start there to change one’s approach. She advised parents to ask questions about projects, rather than praise the product, and to help be the historian for where and how your child (and others) have achieved success.
She stated that happiness can be a habit, that most of our brain activity does not have to do with conscious thought, so that if we have trained it to focus on the positive, it will continue to do that. She cited “the tetrus effect” –the tendency of the brain to continue to see patterns where it has been continually working with them, as proof of that.
